Focus

I know children mimic the things they hear you say. I don't think I knew the kinds of things she'd say back to me though.
The Giants happen to be playing very well right about now and I have been following their games closely. The other day there was an important playoff game on and I wanted to watch it. The problem is that in our house the TV is not on very often and when it is, we're sitting down watching it. We don't have it on during meals or as a background. As King of the Household I decided that I wanted to have the game on during dinner. Mariana kept turning it off and telling me "no TV while we eat". Glad she's listening huh? During the meal I kept looking over her head as the TV is behind her seat at the table. She admonished me "Focus Daddy. Focus on eating". You little shit!
Mariana is showing a budding imagination of the hallucinatory bent. She can ramble on, mixing all the characters from her life together. Friends from school, characters from movies and books, neighbors, relatives- you name it, they can all get involved in the adventure. Sometimes she wakes out of a dream and tells us right away about the flying kitty litter box and sometimes it's just a long dinner monologue about Teddy and Farquad and how Seargent Murphy has to take them "into custody"- focus and eat child! It's like all this information is flowing into a well and it just swirls around and blends and keeps filling higher. Some things float to the surface. Some sink- but they're all in there waiting for their turn to surface. Does she have a great imagination? Is she nuts? or is she just 3 1/2 years old?

Smoking

I'm sitting on the plane watching my 3.5 yr old daughter effortlessly navigate her iPod looking for a new video. Technology is pretty amazing. I suppose every generation must think that at some point. There are lots of things she'll grow up with and take for granted as having always been that way. What do you mean there were no cell phones when you grew up? No Facebook? How did you communicate with people? Certain bad things are going away too, like today she asked us what smoking was. No one around us smokes anymore. When people bemoan "the way things are today" I think they neglect to consider how much better certain things are now. In the past, was it better to have a cord attached to every phone? Was it better to get tainted blood transfusions? Was it better to be a minority? Mariana will grow up in a world where woman can do just about anything they want to do. What will she do with it? I guess she'll start by rolling her eyes at me and saying "Yeah, Dad, I know you had to go all the way to the bank when you needed money, blah, blah, blah". Actually, I'm probably more likely to get the question "Dad, what's an ATM card?"

Path

Now and again I watch Mariana do something that will make me wonder about what her future holds. It could be something innocuous like how she dances. It could what she chooses to draw and how well she draws it. It could be what clothes she wants to wear that day. All of these little moments can lead me to think: will she be a good dancer? Or a spaz like me? Are her wild flailings now the makings of Shakira? or Joey Ramone? My imagination can run from "she's a genius" to "she's doomed". At dinner she often stuffs her face and then tries to talk and careens around on her chair, spewing foodlets in all directions. People tell me, relax, she's 3 yrs old. My neuroses lead to morbid fantasies of her doing this in high school as all the cool kids back away quickly.

I worry and I wonder. Sometimes I see her do something quirky and wonder whether the right person will come along and see the beauty in her imagination. Or will people just think she's weird? Will she be 30 and still living at home, miserable and dissatisfied with her life? Will she be happy? Man, lots to worry about.

Then sometimes I go to my happy place and dream about her going to college, having a great career and finding this great guy. Successful, smart, an avid cyclist and Yankee fan. We can bond over hating the Red Sox while doing charity rides together. The son I never had. He and Mariana have some wonderful children and everything is beautiful. I can die happy knowing that she is loved and in a good place. I hope that these are the extremes and that she ends up leading a good life, whatever she chooses that to be.

Eyeballtini?

Here's M with her best buddy Scarlett on the see saw at school. Everpresent cheeseface smile intact.

I was in the bath with Mariana tonight and she fixed me a drink. Her beloved Shrek movies feature a scene in which Rumpelstiltskin makes Shrek an "eyeballtini"- as in martini- and she likes to recreate the scene. She plays Rumple and I Shrek. She mixes it carefully with a spoon and says "eyeballtini?" and I say "Well, maybe just one..." It's pretty funny that she is already quoting movie lines. So tonight she kept giving me eyeballtini after eyeballtini and I had to say, Well maybe just three, and maybe just 5, 6 etc. However she skipped right from 7 to 9 so asked her, "what about #8?" she said, "well, 8's out this week" HA!

The other day she was a little drunk tired and fawning over Mommy while getting help going to the potty. I love your little eyes, Mommy. I love your little face Mommy. Puke right? So then she tells her "I love you best Mommy when Daddy's not around". What a good kid.

Three

Mariana had her 3rd birthday party today at a park here in Brooklyn. Fortunately the weather cooperated and fun was had by all. What craziness, trauma, excitement, and laughs does she have cooked up for us this year? We shall see.

Mariana and SeverineMariana with Sasha and local girl
Mariana with her main squeeze Benicio

hello again

Hello out there there there there.... Is there anyone there there there there...? I know I have not written in a long long time. I just wasn't feeling it. Life is settling down a wee bit lately. I have a steady job and my Dad is moved into his new place so I have a little bit more space in my brain for writing about my favorite topic: my daughter. She's turning 3 next week. Holy cow.

Here are a couple links to videos. One is from a long time ago that I did as a test but it's fun to see how Mariana has grown in just 1 1/2 years. The other was taken this summer as Mariana tries to beat the heat by "going to the pool" Bed Stuy style. I love that she can be so happy "swimming" in an old cat litter bucket on our front stoop.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aS2geOTGR8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFumezTVaiU

Just a few pictures. Mariana last summer playing croquet. Hanging with Grandma and Grandpa at the Brooklyn Museum. And Mariana doing her Walrus impression.