Doc

Hilary and I are still feeling our way through this "experience". Mariana freaks out at the doctor, it's true. I wish that was something Hilary could deal with on her own. I have commitments that I'm supposed to keep with work. Do I want to go to work? No, but I have to and I have to do it alone. Do you see where I'm going with this? This is where I get into trouble. To be fair this is something we agreed upon a while ago- that we would both go to her Dr. visits to keep her calm. These thoughts are not too helpful when trying to keep a happy household. Fortunately we can talk it through and get over it. Hopefully it's only temporary- as Mariana grows up she'll get used to doctor visits as a part of life and it won't be so difficult to take her there. But this is one part of parenthood that I won't look back on with nostalgia. Nor will I look back at feeding time and pine for those days when she would throw a spoonful of yogurt onto the carpet. Nope, I won't miss that a bit. This morning was tough. I found myself getting all riled up over stupid stuff. Then Mariana started spazzing when I was changing her. I found myself getting very angry. At what? A baby who doesn't want to sit still? Ok, that's pointless. She's a baby, that's what babies do. Fortunately I was able to realize it in the moment and chill out.