SENTENCIA!

We just received a call from Helena that we got our Sentencia today. Tomorrow one of us will go pick it up bring it to the Defender of Minors to sign and then it's just a matter of paperwork before we can bring Mariana home! We have a checklist that we couldn't do until the Sentencia came through: get her Colombian passport, travel visa for going to the USA and then on thursday we can hopefully get her examination by the US Embassy Doctor. Best case scenario is that we can have the travel visa on Friday and we're free to go home as soon as Saturday. If there is a delay in getting an appointment or some other unforseen reason (likely) then it could be next tuesday. Yeahhhh!!!! more to follow...

more pics from Chia

Joaquin Narvaez was nice enough to send me some more photos of our visit and to include some sunny day pics of their beautiful home. We're hoping to see them again soon. Notice the picture of me with the pained expression in the kitchen hoping Myriam won't make me embarrass myself by dancing.


Remember to click on any photo to see it larger.

more on cooking..

I thought I'd expand on the night we made dinner. Cooking was a lot of fun. My normal pot of sauce is usually big enough to make 12 servings for Hilary and I (we freeze it in batches of 2) so I just had to round up a bit. That part was easy. We had to run around a bit to find the right ingredients. The romano cheese I found at the "Cava de Queso" or Cheese Cave, a nice cheese shop we just happened upon while out one day. It cost 23,000 pesos or about $10 for a small piece. It was key though so I had to buy it. The rest was paid for by the hotel. I think the manager really likes Italian food so she was very encouraging. The canned tomatoes were from Carrefour, the only tomatoes I've seen here that are imported from Itly. Hilary's Mom sent us her mother's meatball recipe so we had to buy garlic powder. The rest - breadcrumbs, eggs, etc they keep in stock here at the Halifax and they said we were welcome to use whatever we needed. They have nice olive oil down here but its all from Spain. I suffered through it. There is actually a place 2 blocks away that makes fresh pasta. It's dried but they make it right there. We bought 4lbs. The arugola was from the local grocery believe it or not. I can't even find arugola in Bed Stuy for petes sake. Blanca helped me clean everything and Hilary came in and out with Mariana. She mixed up all the meatball ingredients and I did the frying. Then into the sauce. The actual serving was a bit of a rush job. I've never cooked that much pasta before and trying to dole it into two big platters was challenging. I then took some of the whole garlic cloves that roasted in the sauce, mashed them, smeared it on the baguettes and sprinkled with salt, pepper and a little romano for some nice garlic bread. Hilary dressed the salad and the staff helped us put everything into the approprite platters. They don't usually put all the tables together like in that photo but it was a special occasion. There was lots of toasting and bonding. One of the Swedish couples has a son that didn't want to eat anything while they'd been in Colombia. He had been losing weight. His Mother had told me that his favorite meal was spaghetti and meatballs. Part of the reason we did it that day was because I knew they were leaving the next day. He was well pleased with meal but even more so with the cookies. We packed up a few care packages and gave some to the staff as well.

A Day In The Life

The days are running one into the next here. There is a new couple from Holland who are nice and we went to lunch with them and the Swedes today. We went to Crepes and Waffles again. It's kid friendly, something I never was concerned with until now. Mariana wouldn't sit still today. Normally she just sits quietly or sleeps through the meal. I know the time is coming soon if not already upon us where we she won't tolerate being left in the stroller while we eat.

Our typical day.

Only the most ardent Brooklynvernis readers and perhaps my Mother and Mother in law may get all the way through this post. I won't blame you.

If we have nothing planned, which is usually, this is how a common day goes by.

630- 730am- Mariana starts to make some noises in her crib and Hilary and I whisper to each other not to get up yet. "See if she'll sleep some more" "Oh yeah, ok" "But she's so cute, I want to pick her up" "No, let her sleep" "

730 - 8am- Mariana signals she's awake now with more tossing and turning, lets out a few gurgles and grunts from the exertion of proping herself up with her arms. By this time we're up and the first one to sit up is rewarded with one of the best smiles of the day. Mariana grins from ear to ear and often follows that up with the head crashing back down on the matress. A moment later she props up again and smiles broadly again. Then she'll flip onto her back and stare up at you with her arms out and a "I'm ready to be picked up now" look on her face says. A little "get to know you again" and then time for a bottle.

8- Whoever didn't get up for the baby makes the morning bottle and then we debate who will feed her. Her first bottle sometimes goes down without a fight. It can be a nice time with her as she is still waking up and is calm enough to focus on the task at hand. On days where she's got other ideas, the hands swat the bottle away without a seconds notice, usually leaving a trail of formula across her face in the process. Sometimes it takes 3 or 4 tries to get all the formula in. We have to pin one arm against our body and hold the other one with our free hand and virtually force her mouth open while she tries to squirm out of it or maybe even a cry lets out. Crying means the mouth is open and we can plop the bottle in there. Once it's in, she chills out and drinks some more. Now, why were you fighting me?

830- Morning diaper change and off to breakfast. We park Mariana in a high chair and help ourselves to the morning buffet of fresh fruit, fruit juice, toast, eggs and cereal. Hilary has been having arepas with fruit in the morning. We buy, they grill them up for her. Mariana is usually content at breakfast. We put her into the highchair with a few toys and she doesn't usually get bored with them for 10-15 minutes. Once the toys are not occasionaly but constantly dropped on the floor for her servants to pick up it's time to start giving her bread to make into gooey little lumps. Blanca or Nancy or Luz will often buy us a few minutes by coming over and cooing to her in Spanish. The other children can also be a welcome distraction for her. But eventually the arms go out and the whimpering begins and we can't take not looking at her cuteness anymore and breakfast is over.

9-11 We play on the bed, check email and stare at each other a little. Perhaps a dookie change? Perhaps a quick nap? I'll often write while the girls nap. My girls love their sleep.

11 - Another bottle. This one is less interesting than the first so it may take 4 tries to get 1/2 of it down. Then we try to feed her some solid food. She balks, we coax, she tries a little, we cajole, she tries some more. We get 1/2 a jar in and we know it's time to quit when she takes the food in her mouth, looks at us, and spits it back out at us with flapping lips. Yeah!! Eating is a game!

11-1 Some more play time on the floor or maybe outside if it's at all decent weather. We sit out in the garden with the rocker swing or maybe use the jumping swing. She's a little small for the latter but enjoys it nonetheless. Perhaps do some laundry? This must be fascinating for those of you at home I know.

1-2pm- Lunch. They ring a bell in the main lobby for all meals here and like the good little Pavlovian doggies we are we report to the mess hall for our slop, excuse me food. I've mentioned here before that the food is fine but I'm used to much more variety in my diet. We're getting REALLY tired of the menu here. It took us much longer to get to this point in China. We could get whatever we wanted. Here you sit down and they bring you food. It's nice not to have to think about it but what if you're thinking about a salad and they bring you a hot dog casserole? (true story) I hate to even complain because the staff is so nice and I'm sure they try. Blanca even knows me well enough that she'll put aside all my salads now with no dressing. Nice, no condiments!

2-4 Some more napping. some more playing on the bed, some more writing. Maybe if we're feeling wild we'll go to Carulla, the grocery store a block away. Maybe.

4-6pm - Another bottle, another diaper. Usually it's gray, and raining.

6-625 - The sun comes out for 5 minutes and we gather our stuff together to try and catch a few moments. We hurriedly get the diaper bag together, wallet, keys, ok baby needs another layer, did you get the camera?

625-630pm - We go for a nice walk around the corner and back into the hotel for dinner

6-30 - 730pm - Dinner at the Halifax. Overcooked meat, boiled vegetables, boiled potatoes (or fried if they're feeling wacky) Dessert? In a word: gelatin. We never knew so many types of gelatin existed until we came here. Green limey taste. Coffee gelatin poured in a bundt ring and sliced. Yellow gelatin with meringue. Gelatin with cake. Gelatin with ice cream. We chat with our European counterparts and exchange "how long have you been/will be here" stories. I'm already tired of hearing myself tell the same stories again and again.

730- 8 BATHTIME! This is almost always fun. However Mariana gets super excited for bathtime, making herself overtired and screechy. She clutches her little rubber blocks in the tub and licks the soap. Mmm soapy. Hilary and I take turns holding her and washing bits of cheese and fuzz from the various folds. One day we even found a 1/2 eaten slice of pizza. We employ different tricks to make her look up to clean the goo from under her chin. She loves to splash and squeel.

8-830 - Final bottle and bedtime. She calms down a bit after getting dressed and may take an ounce or 2 from Daddy. At this point she prefers to take the bottle from Mommy. Daddy is the preferred burper. She lets fly these burps right in my face. Picture if you will the smell that emanates from a milk carton that's been in the recyling bin when you squeeze the air out it. So then drink, extra layer of clothes, into the crib, roll around a bit, and Mariana's day is done.

830-9 or 10pm if we're lucky - Stare at each other some more. I write some more. Hilary reads some more. We unplugged the TV on the first night in the room to charge the ipod and have not bothered to plug it back in. We'll watch TV again when we get home I'm sure but right now neither of us is interested.

And that's all folks. We manage to sqeeze in some days of going places but those days tend to really mess up Mariana's schedule so we're realizing more and more that she us to do.. well.. not much other than hang out with her and take take of her every need.

Home Again Home Again Jiggety Jig

Pictured here is the chef. Blanca made me wear the apron. The meal went very well. All were happy. Hilary's salad, meatballs, and cookies were fantastic. The staff here is so nice and it was fun to hang out with them in the kitchen for the day.
We went to the Salt Cathedral today. It was nice. Now we're back in Bogota and the sky is gray (as usual) the baby doesn't want to nap (again) and my stomach feels like crap (oh joy). Other than that everything is great, just great. I don't really feel like writing today. I want to go home. Can you tell by today's post?

Freakish Gurgling

I love the freakish gurgling noises this child comes up with. It seems like every day she discovers something new. She loves to mimic the sounds of lip smacking blubbering back to her Mommy. Another new feat in the past day or so is that she is showing signs of crawling. She got up on all fours twice today for a just a few seconds but you can see the crawling position forming there. Pretty exciting. She is also almost totally able to sit up on her own without the aid of a pillow sandwich. I had a dream last night that her legs were long and that she could walk. Think I'm getting ahead of myself? She better not start walking too quickly. Our house is not at all baby proofed.

The hotel is starting to empty out again. Most of the folks that have been here the past few weeks have gotten their Sentencia and are leaving in a few days. We did get a call from Helena saying not to make any travel plans to the Carribean just yet. She says there is a chance our Sentencia could come through before Easter because our case is already past step 2 out of 3 steps. We're crossing our fingers and kicking ourselves at the same time for hesitating on the beach trip. We'll see in the next few days if she says it's still possible but obviously we want to be in Bogota when the call comes for the Sentencia.

There is a new Swedish couple who just today brought home a 6 yr old boy and his 3 yr old sister so they'll be here for a while. I can see their wide eyed expressions and I remember just how difficult and exciting that first day was. It's amazing to think of how far we've come in just 3 weeks with Mariana. They are facing an enormous challenge in the years ahead and it makes me realize for the 5 millionth time how lucky we are. Certainly we have huge challenges too but when I look at Mariana it doesn't feel that way. She is so incredibly beautiful and has a way of melting us into 2 little puddles. Only now can I understand how people think their baby is the cutest in the world only in our case it happens to be true.

Now that its a little more quiet we are going to cook dinner tomorrow night for everyone here including the staff. On the menu: Fresh spaghetti with marinara sauce, Grandma Lospinuso's meatballs, a side salad of arugula with pears and shaved parmagiano and for desert Nestle toll house cookies with ice cream. I've never cooked for this many people so it could be an enormous failure but what the hell, I'll give it a shot.

On a side note both KISS and Motorhead are playing here in Bogota in April. If we end up staying here that long those will be 2 consolation prizes. Well, at least for me. Here are also a couple random shots for those of you not on Facebook.

Laugh Attack Part II

We went to the Museo Del Oro, or Museum of Gold today. There are tons of museums to see here. The exhibits were great but it was a small indication of the changes in our lives to me. At least for now there won't be as much strolling in a quiet museum, reading information and pondering ancient civilizations. Mariana slept through some of it but then when she awoke with energy she wanted to shriek for joy. Time for ME now. She's very good and can sit still in the stroller for a while but enough was enough. We took her out and sat on a bench in the lobby and her Mommy made her laugh like never before by making puke noises. see video below:




Mariana developed a bit of diaper rash this week. This was new to us. I have at times thought that we have become servants to this little girl. We feed her, bathe her, carry her around, everything. We are her slaves. Along those lines I had to laugh when I found myself blowing air onto her butt the other day to try to dry things out down there. It's a tag team effort actually with Hilary helping hold the child and spreading the clenched cheeks with me as the wind man. I also thought about how little dignity you receive as a child. Do you think she wants to have this big goofball blowing on her heine?

Tres Dientes!

I have to change Mariana's nickname from Dos Dientes to Tres Dientes because she is getting her 3rd tooth in, this one on top. It's funny - off to the side hillbilly style.

Sunday siesta in the country

Busy day. Sunday in Bogota means it's Ciclovia, a a wet dream for bike geeks like me. They close off a bunch of major streets to motorized traffic and open it up to cyclists, rollerbladers and joggers. Picture 2nd Ave, 6th Ave, and 9th Ave being closed from 7am - 2pm EVERY sunday. Then multiply times 10 and you have Ciclovia. This city has a huge problem with traffic. There is no subway system but apparently the new new mayor was elected in large part because he promised to build one. In a city of 6.7 million that means a lot of cars, buses and motorcycles. They are taking such measures as banning car usage for cars with odd/even numbered license plates on alternating days- and its still conjested. Ciclovia is a way to encourage more bicycle riding and in general is a good idea for peoples health. I like it. Today I rode around for an hour on one of the hotel bikes. I wish I could blame the altitude or the fat knobby tires or the heaviness of the bike but men, women, and children were passing me on the road today like I was standing still. 3+ weeks without exercise and I'm feeling a little gelatinous. It didn't matter, it's not about the speed. It was just so good to be out on the road.

After Ciclovia we were picked up by Myriam and Joaquin, the parents of my friend Jorge. We spent what could be one of the more memorable afternoons of my life with them. They were the most generous, fun, and interesting people I have met in a long time. We drove north to Chia on a typically cloudy day here. They pointed out sights along the way until we reached their neighborhood. Joaquin described it as "the Hamptons" of Bogota. Although much closer to Bogota than The Hamptons is to NYC the description fit well. Their house is breathtaking. It sits high up on a hill that looks out into the valley below from many of the rooms. We walked through the house and I drooled over all the exposed wood beams and wood floors. There's a central courtyard with a fountain and innumerable types of flowers. The climate here reminds me of California (without the sunshine) in that you can have the doors and windows open during the day and not feel the temperature change from inside to outside. To my delight they even showed us embarassing pictures of Jorge holding his "Alf" doll. The sculpted grounds have winding brick paths that lead to different levels with multiple terraces. We parked ourslves on the highest terrace and were treated to mimosas and beer and some great Colombian music. They are passionate about their music as am I so I was very happy to hear the variety. Myriam fawned over Mariana. Who wouldn't? She makes good eye contact my daughter does, and has a way of making people love her.

We had such nice conversation, nary an awkward pause the whole day. They moved to the US in the 90's and just moved back to Colombia 2 years ago so they are both fluent in English. We talked about all kinds of things: music, adoption, politics, parenting. I felt like an adult, kind of. Myriam is very young at heart and has a playful manner about her and with a few more beers she would have been teaching me Latin dances. She tried actually but I kept myself glued to the seat. I still have remnants of my wallfower past in me. Joaquin has a quick smile and a very inviting manner and they were so excited that we are here. They kept telling us that we should consider their home our home in Colombia. They must have encountered many Americans who have such negative opinions about Colombia and seemed so happy that we are open to enjoying their country and all it has to offer. Indeed we are, and we plan on coming back to Colombia many times in the future. Mariana deserves to know where she came from and have Colombia be as much a part of her life as her 2 gringo parents can give her. We hope to see them again before we leave.

Bedtime Neurosis

Mariana has a way of tearing my heart out. That thumbsucking pushes my buttons terribly. I can't help but feel the sadness and mourning of her loss: the loss of contact with her birth parents, her foster parents and foster brothers and sisters. For "regular" kids you would rejoice at putting them in the crib for the night and having them roll around a few times to go to sleep. For Mariana I can't help but think of her rolling around in a crib in her foster home hoping for someone to come pick her up and hold her and maybe rock her to sleep. She looks up at me from her crib with those big dark eyes and it feels like she is staring right through me. I wish I knew what was going on in that brain of hers. Does she want to be picked up and comforted? Is she testing me to see what I'll do, or whether she can trust me? Am I failing by not picking her up and just sitting close by as she rolls around moaning, not crying, just sort of babbling and playing with the crib bars and sucking her fingers? She occasionally will roll onto her stomach, prop herself up with her arms and stare out at us on the bed and smile before lying back down. Smiling right? What could be wrong with that? Am I so conditioned to think that babies are so incredibly needy that this must be abnormal behavior? Perhaps I want her to fuss and cry so that we can sooth her and feel like we are special and not just the people who are taking care of her now. Perhaps. I wonder if she knows that we totally love her unconditionally already? That we would do absolutely anything in the world for her for the rest of her life? I guess I wonder... does she love us yet?

I know this is a lifelong process and that I need to be patient. I also know that some answers will be forthcoming and some will not. This is just a snapshot of my neurosis at the moment.

more pictures

Our friend Jason said he doesn't like it when people just dress their children up in silly outfits just to amuse themselves. Well, we do. Here's our fuzzy little teddy bear Mariana.

Another tradition we're sharing with Mariana is the "Idiot shot" whereby you hold the camera out in front of you and take a picture of yourself. Now our idiot shots include 3 peeps.

Poop Face

A Happy St. Joseph's Day to one and all, including little Mariana Josephine.

More videos have been requested. I must comply with the wishes of my audience. The following video is Marianas first taste of mashed carrots. Do you think she likes them? It's funny because she makes the same poop face after eating most everything.

We have been trying to figure out where to go for a long trip. We have plenty of time to kill and its a big country so we might as well go see a few places. We felt the need to keep everything as quiet as possible for Mariana in the first few weeks of getting used to us. Now we're getting ready to expand our horizons a bit. The big debate is whether to go on a bunch of local trips to coffee plantations, historic towns etc. in the 3-4hr driving range or to go up to the Carribean to this deserted little island called Providencia. We'll have nothing to do but sit on the beach and play rather than sit in the hotel and play in Providencia. We have to take into account what is best for Mariana though. We are hesitant to turn her schedule upside down again. Anyway, we're going to go somewhere but right now we can't decide where.

In the interest of getting out and about more I contacted the parents of a friend and co-worker named Jorge. They live about 30 minutes north of Bogota in Chia. They invited us for a Sunday afternoon of empanadas, mimosas and friendly conversation. Jorge's one of the nicest people you'll ever meet so I'm looking forward to meeting his folks. We are VERY excited for this outing.

Mariana is doing well. She is currently rolling around in her crib avoiding naptime. She's generally a good napper but today is another story. Oh well. She has perfected the act of rolling over this week. She was a bit like a turtle on her back before, needing help to flip over. Now with the help of a toy just out of reach she can tuck the arm, roll over and do a little scooching to get to it. We've set up the bed with a pillow surround that she can't roll out of but I think this will only contain her for so long. Today we let her play on the carpet for a spell. She got better traction there. The only problem is that more appealing than any of her toys or Mom or Dad is the texture of the carpet. That oh so yummy "can't keep my toungue off it" texture. You look away for a second and she's face down with an open mouth. Yuck. They steam clean the carpets here every day but still, yuck.

Here is another picture from our outings in the country. MJV rides a horse.

Sunshine and flowers

We've been together for 16 years. It's always been just the two of us and this is a huge adjustment for us. I feel pretty good about how its going but there are occasional potholes in our road. We have both read sparingly from our baby books, Baby 411 and Your Baby's First Year respectively. We also both have some collected knowledge of how babies work from years of watching others. Really though we're just flying by the seats of our pants. "Do you think it would be better if we changed her first and then gave her the bottle?" Shit, I don't know. "What if she won't drink the formula later because we gave her solid food now?" Duhh, beats me. We both throw out ideas and whichever seems better at the time we go with. She's humoring us by acting sweet and cute like we're doing alright.

Hilary and I have traded days of feeling spent. Fortunately they have not overlapped too much so we've been able to grab enough naps to keep moving. Some days we struggle between "Gimme the baby, she's so cute!" and "Take her, she's your problem now". There's also some "She loves you more today" but the reasons for it are varied. Maybe it's because we're sad that we can't console her or burp her the right way that day or maybe it's because we'd prefer for the other to do it. You know, reverse psychology. The days blur one into the next here and Hilary's been getting a little bored. I'm still in slug mode- not caring about leaving the hotel as much. That's not a great equation for contentment. We're working on that. We went to Chico park today first thing in the morning.

Mariana has not been so into solid foods. The books say she should be eating at least 2 solid meals a day at this age but we're lucky if we can get her to eat one. It's been worrisome for us. We're both so afraid of screwing her up. She had a schedule that her foster Mother gave us and at first I thought we should try to keep as close to that as possible. Well Mariana has her own ideas and pitched that schedule right out the window. We've tried making our own carrots. Nope. We've tried mixing them with pear. Nope. We've tried mashed banana. Nope. She'll try it for a bite or two and then turn away in disgust. It can get pretty frustrating. Hilary had the idea yesterday for teething biscuits. I wasn't so sure. She won't even eat regular jarred food consistently yet. Always the girl of action over inaction, she suggested we try it. So Mariana sat down with a big ole' cigar of Tasteless Teething Stick and had a great time chewing it into mush and swallowing some. What it did was spark an interest in eating solids because we were then able to shovel in some jarred pears. Score one for Hilary.

Mariana has a tendency to get really excited at dinner. There are lots of people and action, kids running around and screaming and the wait staff hustling plates to and fro. She gets very chatty and screechy and all the limbs start twitching. Then she doesn't want to eat enough and has a hard time settling down to bed. Not the end of the world, it just takes a little longer. Hilary's idea last night was to keep her out of the dinner room and put her in the rocker thingy and sit just outside the dinner room. She never wants to sit still in the rocker for me so I only grudgingly agreed. We sat down to dinner and Mr. Negativo (me) was waiting for it not to work. Well, it did. Score two for Hilary. What I SHOULD have said at that point was "Nice job with the rocker idea babe". Probably feeling the bruised ego from my last wrong instinct about the teething biscuits I offered to following statement that I wish I could rewind and take back: "Well the rocker worked this time but really you don't know shit either". What a dick right? What I meant was that we're just making this up as we go. I've had my share of successes along the way but it felt like sheer luck. I assumed the same for her. Really I should believe in her maternal instincts and give credit where credit is due.

So just in case you thought we had all flowers and sunshine coming out of our butts I thought I'd share that embarrassing moment. We talked about it. She let me off the hook. Whew. Like my brother Carlo taught me: Happy wife (+ mama) Happy life.

Fuzzyhead and Crowsfeet

Here I stand holding Mariana as the wind whistles through her luscious locks. Ok maybe her hair is still a little thin but someday boy...

Last week we were invited to go with Helena and her grandaughter Miranda to this place to play. I say this place because I don't know what its called but there are lots of animals: bunnies and sheep and horses and cows and chickens. They even brought out a basket of kittens. It's a playgroup so they have activities like painting and sculpting with dough and they let the kids ride the horse a bit. Mariana is way too small for most of the activities like for instance the sandbox. She's 7 months old. The first place any toy goes is into the mouth. Mmm, mouthfuls of sand. We went again today and they had better activities for her. It was fun and we really appreciated Helena sharing this experience with us. It doesn't even cost anything so we gave them some of the Ghirardelli chocolates we brought just for such an occasion.

Gotcha

I never really had the chance to write about March 4, 2009 our "Gotcha Day" as some call it. That was the day when we went to CRAN to get Mariana. I hope to write a more in depth description about CRAN after we go there next week but for now just know that they are the organization that is responsible for everything, from helping the birth mothers in their final months of pregnancy, finding foster families, making sure that adoptive couples are fit to be parents and ultimately deciding which babies go to which family.

CRAN is located about 30 minutes by car north of the Chico neighborhood of Bogota where we are staying. I had to put on a monkey suit. I had bought a suit jacket for $15 at a second hand store in New Rochelle just for the occasion. Hey, I always want to look my best. Helena picked us up at 9am after we choked down our last meal without Mariana. As we headed north things quieted down a bit. The traffic was less. The buildings thinned out some and just as we started to be surrounded by trees we arrived at the front gate. The driver let us out and after months of paperwork, years of discussions and a lifetime of expectations we were there. We going to meet our daughter.

The CRAN campus is located on a sloping hill with a number of different buildings scattered across maybe 3 -4 lush acres. We made our way down to the main office. My heart was pretty much pounding out of my chest as Helena gave us some facts about the goings on there like that almost everyone who works there is female aside from a few maintenance men. Inside the office we were led to a room in the corner where would meet our baby. We had brought an outfit that Mariana would wear when we meet and we gave that over to someone on the staff. I was feeling numb at this point. They could have led me over a cliff I would probably have said, "duuuuh, ok". Of course we were sort of floating already at that point. There were windows on 2 sides and I remember looking out at the city and thinking about nothing. Hey look, guys working below on a drainage ditch. Hmmm, kind of smoggy today. I'm not sure what I was supposed to be thinking but here it was the big moment I was thinking about, well, nothing. I had been sort of expecting to feel a certain way, like being overcome by a rush of emotions. Really all it was just excitement and anticipation.

They had us sign a few papers and then they presented us her medical records with a photo of Mariana on the cover. In a crafty and well thought out maneuver they had taken a photo of her in the clothes we had just brought! There she was in that fuzzy little number Hilary had picked up in Brooklyn. The outfit had sat on the chair in her room for weeks limp and lifeless and now it was filled with her sweet chunkiness. The info they gave us over the next few minutes is a complete blur as all I wanted to do was turn back to the cover. We met with the Foster Mother who was very sweet and gave us the book with her pictures and care schedule. I wish we could have met her again a few days later because all that info went in one ear and dripped out the other. Hilary was rifling through the book. I wondered why. I wanted to see all the pictures and read everything. She was thinking, the sooner we get through this the sooner we meet her. Oh yeah, right!

We went back to the corner room and waited. Helena asked us for our camera and waited too. There was a rise in the chatter and ambient noise as Mariana was brought to us. She was calm when they handed her to Hilary living up to her description as tranquilo in Spanish. I couldn't believe The Moment was finally at hand. She looked us right in the eyes as if to say "Y'all ready for this?" Honestly she looked a little scared understandably but she played it off well and charmed me utterly. She was even more beautiful than that picture we had taped to the wall in the bedroom and the fridge and the nightstand and the computer. They left us alone for a few minutes. Hilary and I just sat there passing her back and forth in hushed amazement. I think we laughed and said something like "What are they nuts?! They're giving this little baby to us?!"

We said our goodbyes and thanked everyone and went back to the car with our daughter in our arms. She quickly fell asleep on Hilary's chest on the ride back to the hotel. There's no fussy stuff like car seat laws for babies in Colombia. We got back to our room and closed the door and there we were, a family. Now we have to walk the walk. She needs to be changed. She needs a bottle, NOW. She needs more things than I can even imagine right now and hey, welcome to it. I finally got to sit with her alone and hold her and wrap my arms around her whole fat little body and that's when I finally began to feel the gravity of the situation. Some people have said that it could take a while to fall in love with your adopted child. I felt so lucky and can honestly say it was love at first sight.

*note: you can click on any of the photos on this site for a full size view

Pictures, not words

Here are a few pictures of Mariana showing off her teeth, sleeping in the stroller munchin style, and flying. The video features her doing sort of a WC Fields thing.

Sleepy girl

We went to the Orthopedist yesterday and received great news. Marianas hips are fine. He smushed her around some, checked her xray and said that everything is fine and dandy. I was starting to get nervous in the waiting room when Helena told us that her daughter had to wear braces that spread apart her legs for 6 months. Yikes, not the worst thing that can happen but I'm glad Mariana won't have to deal with that.

Most of our days are spent going from meal to meal, watching Mariana be Mariana. I'm sure we're going to get cabin fever at some point but I'm kind of enjoying the simple life right now. Yesterday we walked over to Parque 93 which is a few blocks from our hotel. The Park is beautiful, surrounded by nice restaurants and people lounging and kids playing on the grass. We went to a place called "Crepes and Waffles" and had a Nutella and vanilla ice cream waffle and a Colombian espresso. Tasty. Then back we went to the hotel where I crashed at 9:30, probably the earliest I've fallen asleep in 25yrs and I slept soundly all night. Ahhh, like I said, I'm enjoying the simple life right now.

The picture with Mariana passed out in the baby bjorn is from a store called Carrefour. We last went to a Carrefour in Shanghai to find any kind of food that wasn't Chinese. They had such exotica as Barilla pasta and good European chocolate. I think that that particular Carrefour catered to a more international crowd because this just seemed like a gigantic Colombian version of Walmart. However we went there to find some organic baby food and it didn't disappoint. We found her a few new flavors and stocked up on a few other things- even stopped in for a drink at the Juan Valdez Cafe.

The bedtime routine is ever evolving. The first few nights she didn't know which way was up and neither did we. It was a mess. Then it settled down some. We learned how to get her sleep in our arms before laying her down. That was always a funny process. It was almost like she would be beset by demons: thrashing and twisting and crying and moaning. It was as if a spirit entered her and as she got sleepier he fought more and more not to leave. Finally the heaviness of her head catches up to her and PLUMFF, the head crashes down onto your shoulder. A soft sigh and the breathing slows down. Hmm has the demon left? No! You can't get rid of me yet! - another round of thrashing and twisting and eyes rubbing but a little less intense this time. The demon is losing his grip on her. Finally one last gasp and the head plops and she's out. The arms go limp. A few slurps and a gurgle or two and she can be down for the night.

Last night it was a little different. We gave her a bath, dressed her, gave her a little more bottle and then into the crib awake and on the edge of thrash mode. It's a risky move, I know but we're gamblers. She just rolled around tried to sucker is into picking her up with a few killer smiles but mostly she just did her own thing. She checked out the bars, did some shrieking, and rolled back and forth a lot. Within 5 minutes she was face up with arms spread out like she passed out in the middle of making a snow angel. Maybe this is also baby manipulation because she looks so damn cute like that you want to wake her up and do it again. We didn't- we're gamblers not nut jobs.

I do wonder if she has learned how to entertain herself and put herself to sleep because she wasn't getting enough attention before. That part makes me sad. She's started sucking her thumb of late which is awfully cute but there are mixed opinions on whether or not it's a good thing. We're going to love her as much as humanly possible but there might always be some part of her that misses her birth Mom and Dad. Am I projecting that thought onto her? Perhaps...

"Baby" name assistance needed

I’m interrupting Joe’s blog for a quick post that has nothing to do with the outrageous fabulousness of Mariana (she really is RIDICULOUSLY adorable.) Joe’s taken on the responsibility of sharing our story & whatever he says goes double for me. Anyway, my sister needs to come up with a fancy name for her new puppy (Emma) to be registered with the ASCA.
This is the furry little bugger:



And this is the e-mail she sent me:

We need help with Emma's registered name... the kennel name is
Déjà Vu which has to be part of her registered name. Her mom is Blaze, her dad is Magnum.
This is what we've come up with so far...

-Déjà Vu's pistol packin' Emmato (carry on the Magnum gun theme)
-Déjà Vu Magnum’s blazing avenger (for mom, dad and Emma Peel from
The Avengers)
-Déjà Vu's Emmagizer Bunny (because she never seems to get tired)

So as you can see we need some help here!

So have at it folks, let’s hear your serious suggestions, not just your snide jokes!
-Hil
P.S.- Mariana really does kick-ass.

Baila, baila, baila!

Today our friends Johannes and Miranda from the Netherlands and their daughters Mariana and Valeria left the Halifax to go back home. We are sad to see them go because not only are they very nice people, they're experienced (adoptive) parents, and it means that for the next few days we'll be the only people staying here. They say that there are new people coming this weekend so I hope it happens because Mariana will miss the company of her baby buddies.

Last night they had a party for Miranda for her birthday. It was lots of fun. They brought in 3 guys who played guitar and sang traditional Colombian music. They had a big birthday cake and we all danced and sang.

Hilary and I knew 1 song courtesy of the Buena Vista Social Club so the hotel staff was happy to see us sing along. The staff here is so nice. They are humoring me and letting me use my Spanish a lot. Most of them speak some English so when necessary we can go that route. I feel a little more comfortable using it each day even if I probably sound like a 3 year old or a caveman. ME LIKE THIS FOOD GOOD! WE GO SEE PARK ALSO BUY THINGS AT STORE. Mariana had a bit of stimulation overload but she handled it pretty well. She slept well all night again in her crib or at least until 5:30am I should say but then back to sleep till 8. Not bad.

Tomorrow we are supposed to go see an Orthopedist to look at an xray of Marianas hips. In Colombia it's standard to take this xray at 6 months but it appears she might have a slight hip dysplasia. According to the people at CRAN if she does it can probably be corrected by wearing some type of special pants.

The food at the Halifax is ok. They have a primarily European guestlist so I think they've learned to cook things that they like. They're heavy on the meats and sauces and it can be a little much for Hilary but I've been ok with it. Part of the problem is that the deal here is that everything is included in the price of the room. So you can go out and try local restaurants if you want but you're paying for a meal already at the hotel so you're essentially paying twice. Now that we're alone we're going to see if they'll make some more traditional Colombian fare: arepas, or empanadas or anything that is cheap easy and what the locals eat. The hotel manager is Inez and she asked if I came from an Italian backround. Si Senora. She asked if we'd like to cook something for everyone some day. They'll buy the ingredients and we do the work. Now we're trying to decide what to make. Maybe my marinara sauce? Maybe tomatoes and eggs? Maybe Mom's calzone with pepperoni? Each dish has it's issues as I don't know if we can get good enough Romano or mozzarella cheese. We'll keep you posted.

Mama and Mariana. My girls. They spent a little time together today, chillin at the book store. It was Mariana's first trip out in the stroller. She seems to really like going out and around. Always good for a kid who's parents like to travel. Also key for any Brooklyn kid.
Our meeting with the Defender of Minors was easy as pie. She asked us a few simple questions like what do you do for a living, are your families excited, etc. but mostly she talked to Mariana and Helena, our adoption rep. She reitterated that her birth parents are young but that they are both professors and that we are very lucky to have her. Indeed we are.

Mariana is currently laying on the bed by herself, surrounded by pillows. The latest revelation is how content she can be playing by herself. For the past hour she has laid there with occassional interaction from us and played with her favorite toy: a bag of wipes. It crinkles -very pleasing. She is also shreiking at the top of her lungs in short manic bursts. I take this as a happy baby.

Laugh Attack

We had a real downpour this afternoon. The rainwater came rushing down the block. Thunder, lightning , the whole bit. But now it has cleared and the internet is functioning again and it has allowed me to upload this very happy video. Mariana was in fine spirits last night as you'll see here.

Each day gets a little easier as we fall into a routine. It's hard to believe its only been 5 days. Tomorrow we go to meet "The Defender of Minors" here in Bogota at 7:30 am (ugh). Sounds intimidating huh? She will ask us a few questions and assign us a court where our Sentencia will take place. The Sentencia is sort of the last major hurdle for us becoming Marianas legal parents and being able to take her home to the USA. Apparently each court operates at a different speed and depending on which one we get we'll know roughly how much longer we need to stay here. fingers crossed...

We've been spending a lot of time with a Dutch family. They have an adopted Colombian daughter that's 6 who is also named Mariana. They are here because they just adopted another wee one who's 8 months. They are really nice and good company and Mariana just loves to be around the children. Sadly they leave on wednesday. I wonder who else will come to entertain my daughter appropriately?

Another accomplishment for Hilary yesterday in a long line of accomplishments was the fact that she cut Marianas nails - while she was sleeping no less. Maybe some of you more experienced parents just yawned but I thought that was amazing. Todays feat: Mariana fell asleep downstairs and Hilary carried her up the stairs and put her in the crib. She's been laying there comfortably now for the last 1.5 hrs. Sweet revelation! We actually had a few minutes to ourselves. Hey, you have to celebrate the small victories.

2 nights ago I managed to get Mariana to sleep and then lay her on her back. At the time it was a 1st. I was so excited about it that I spent the rest of the night trying not to move because she had me shoved to a side of the bed just barely wide enough to lay down. By the next morning my back felt crippled and I was completely exhausted. Fortunately Hilary was able to sleep uninterupted for the 1st night since we got Mariana and slept like a rock. As a result she was Superwoman. She took charge and let me be a zombie all day. We are so happy that we've been able to trade off those zombie days. We make a pretty derned good team.

Thickness

W finally got a few pictures of the full fatness of the body. Can you stand the rolls? She's got backfurters for petes sake. I love it. The heine shot was taken just before the 1st time she peed on me. nice.

We feel like we turned a corner yesterday. 3 things that could signal a changing tide:

1. Changing time chill out: while cleaning out a motherload of poop Hilary and I started laughing at how much there was and how strange/funny it all is and Mariana stopped freaking out for the first time. Since then as long as we laugh she calmly sits there and endures the indignity of it all.

2. Laying on her back and stomach: obviously she laid on her back a whole lot because her hair is all missing back there but since she'd been with us she would not stand being put down that way. Yesterday she laid on her back and played, on her stomach and played and sat by herself surrounded by pillows and played. It may not seem like a revelation but after 4 days of near constant holding day and night we could finally just stand nearby and watch.

3. Chill bath time: I think she actually enjoyed it and it knocked her right out for the morning nap, sweet!

So because of these things were very happy yesterday. While winding down at night we were all playing on the bed when I had to get up to go to the bathroom. Just like when you're watching a great game or movie on TV and you can't wait to get back or when you're out to dinner with friends and you're having a great conversation, you rush back to the table because you don't want to miss anything. I had that same feeling last night, that I was going to miss something. Watching her play and be content is amazing. What is she going to do next?! Wow, I didn't know she could do that.

doting dad

*note the shiny spot where my hair used to be

Here we are with Mariana's foster parents. They did a great job I have to say. She's so sweet and friendly and healthy. They have 3 children of their own plus 2 other foster children. They made us a "Book of Mariana" with photos and a nice letter for her.
We didn't realize how much Mariana must be missing them until we were having dinner with the other families staying here. She started sqeaking and all her limbs started twitching with excitement when the other children came near. I think she'll be so excited to meet all her 17 cousins when we go home. Now we're trying to spend as much social time as we can with the other folks here. They're all Europeans and doing the same thing we are. So far it's been really nice to be here. Not having to worry about cooking and cleaning is REALLY great.

Thanks so much to everyone for all the good wishes. I wish I had time to write to all of you individually but alas Mariana needs my attention. I'm also having trouble with a lousy connection and a slow computer. I've been trying to post a video but so far have been unsucessful. i'll keep trying.

After a rough 1st night she has settled down a bunch. She will not tolerate being put down on her back for more than 2 seconds so she has to fall asleep in our arms, standing. Then maybe we can sit after a little while. Then more fussing. Then maybe, if we're lucky she'll let us recline a bit. Then more fussing. Then finally if we slink down in small enough increments and the fussing has stopped we can get her to sleep. It's a perfect recipe for a nice wedgie. Hilary has been doing the nightime duty and has developed the art of sliding a sleeping reluctant Mariana out of her arms and onto the bed between us. What about the crib you say?! ha ha!! you mean that thing in the corner that stores baby crap? Babies don't sleep in there silly, they just freak out in there! Kind of like when you change them right? Babies are supposed to freak out when you change them right? I don't know. I don't know what the hell i'm doing but she's still alive and kicking. Even smiles now and then. and coos and gurgles and makes your feel like your heart is going to explode when she looks youright in the eyes when you're feeding her.

Here are a few pictures. i have to add them quickly while mariana lets me. more pics and stories later..

Won't soon forget this day

Today I wanted to write about what a great day it was- about all the great stuff we went and did and how much we enjoyed our last day as a family of 2. Don't get me wrong I did enjoy the day -until I didn't. I have been overwhelmed by a feeling of good luck lately. This evening the scales were balanced a bit.
The day started early because as usual big life events are providing a challenge to a good nights sleep for me. We had our breakfast and then just layed around for a while. Our Norwegian friends got a little setback when the man who was supposed to sign their son's travel visa called in sick leaving no one to sign it. Did I mention they had a flight home at 6pm? I assume it all worked out though as they as are no longer here. Whew!
We went for a walk, dodging cars and motorcyles on the way, to the cell phone place to pick up our phones. Yesterday we left them there to get unlocked and bought new SIM cards so we can use them locally. A very nice guy named Alex helped us. People here are super nice so far. Alex couldn't get the time set right but hey, who cares, doesn't really matter, right?
In the afternoon we went to La Candelaria, the old historic center and the oldest part of Bogota. It is postcard pretty with narrow cobbled streets and colorful buildings with terraces and ironically lots of beautiful but not obtrusive grafiti. We had lunch in a crusty old place (370 yrs old) where we ate a couple nice chicken tamales complete with chunks of pork fat (mmm) and something called a cholcolate santafereno: hot chocolate with cheese and local bread. All sounds good right? just wait..
We grabbed a cab home because it was getting close to dinner time at the hotel. There is a great view from a road circling the city. It sits high above the valley floor and you can see for miles. The skies here always seem to be filled with huge billowing clouds of varying colors. Anyway,
our cabbie stopped at a light right near our hotel and we sat there for a few seconds before we decided it was close enough that we could just hop out there. I was on the passenger side next to the curb so I swung the door open to get out and WHAM!! a guy on a motorcycle slammed into the door and fell over onto the sidewalk, his motorcycle on top of him. I scrambled out to see if I could help him. The motorcycle had his foot pinned against the curb and some guy helped me lift it off him. He just laid there writhing in pain. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. As a cyclist I live in mortal fear of being "doored" by some thoughless schmuck who didn't look before opening a cab door. Now here I was that same IDIOT!! Nevermind that he never should have been going on that side so fast up to a red light. This is Bogota and I had been warned to look both ways on every street, every time. A crowd gathered and we tried to see what we could do. Someone ran and got him some water. Hilary propped his head up with our bag. The Policia were called. He could not get up but the Police made him stay there either way until an ambulance came. All the while I stood there unable to help and wanting to crawl into a hole. My Spanish sucks so I couldn't even go say I was sufficiently sorry. He started shaking because I assume he was in shock. He was talking though and seemed like he would be ok other than probably a broken foot. His buddy came on his motorcycle and gave him his jacket and then the ambulance carted him off. The Police asked us to stay around a bit and I tried to answer their questions as best as I could. They may call us? I didn't totally follow the exchange but I hope its over for now. I just feel so bad for that guy. I hope he's ok. His friend was very nice and let me off the hook with some of my guilt. I offered the strongest apology I could and we ended up chatting a bit. He said it was just an accident and that it happens. Then he gave us unsolicited advise on sights to see in Bogota?! Funny huh? Like I said before they are very nice people here.
The kicker is that just when we got to the hotel they rang the dinner bell. It was an hour earlier than my phone said. WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE BECAUSE WE RUSHED BACK FROM LA CANDELARIA TOO EARLY!!!! That poor bastard would never have been near my wanton cab door assault! Ah Jeez. What a drag. Like I said earlier my luck runneth out tonight.
So now I'm sitting here and I thank you all for humoring me and listening to my sad tale of whoa. Tomorrow is the big day. 12 hours from now we meet our daughter Mariana and everything will be great. The diaper bag is packed. Our nice clothes are laid out. The sleeping pills have been popped. Goodnight couplehood.

We're here!!

We've arrived in Bogota! By some divine aligning of the planets we made our flight mere hours before Newark Airport was closed and 8+ inches of snow was dumped on eveyone in the greater NYC area. We ended up with 3 checked bags, 2 carry-ons, a purse and a laptop bag, over 200 diapers, and 1 inflatable quacking tub. After a somewhat turbulent flight (my salad ended up in my lap) the flight arrived in Bogota at 10pm and we made it to the Halifax by 11:30.

After worrying about the altitude I'm happy to report that it hasn't been a big issue. The Hotel is nice if maybe a little pricey. The neighborhood is beautiful- tons of shops and restaurants and parks in which to push around little Mariana's in strollers. We met Helena today. She's a very nice woman who works for the agency down here and she drove us around to give us the lay of the land. She's very deliberate with her speach and her driving - by that I mean s - l - o - w which is good when you feel slightly hungover. She confirmed that Wednesday is the big day. That's when we go to get Mariana and start smushing those chunky arms.

We had lunch with a nice couple from Norway that have adopted a 3yr old boy. They are leaving tomorrow but we spent the afternoon doing some sightseeing and that's where this picture is taken from: the top of Cerro de Montserrate. Bogota seems to be beautiful and clean and modern. I think we'll be quite comfortable here.

I know our whole world is going to change in roughly 39 hours but I can't really feel it right now. There are enough distractions at the moment. I watched the way that little boy was attaching to his new parents. It's kind of amazing. They didn't speak any Spanish until they studied some on the plane coming here and here they are communicating with their son and caring for him. I know there'll still be tons of adjusting coming up for him and them, but they're off to a good start.