Gotcha

I never really had the chance to write about March 4, 2009 our "Gotcha Day" as some call it. That was the day when we went to CRAN to get Mariana. I hope to write a more in depth description about CRAN after we go there next week but for now just know that they are the organization that is responsible for everything, from helping the birth mothers in their final months of pregnancy, finding foster families, making sure that adoptive couples are fit to be parents and ultimately deciding which babies go to which family.

CRAN is located about 30 minutes by car north of the Chico neighborhood of Bogota where we are staying. I had to put on a monkey suit. I had bought a suit jacket for $15 at a second hand store in New Rochelle just for the occasion. Hey, I always want to look my best. Helena picked us up at 9am after we choked down our last meal without Mariana. As we headed north things quieted down a bit. The traffic was less. The buildings thinned out some and just as we started to be surrounded by trees we arrived at the front gate. The driver let us out and after months of paperwork, years of discussions and a lifetime of expectations we were there. We going to meet our daughter.

The CRAN campus is located on a sloping hill with a number of different buildings scattered across maybe 3 -4 lush acres. We made our way down to the main office. My heart was pretty much pounding out of my chest as Helena gave us some facts about the goings on there like that almost everyone who works there is female aside from a few maintenance men. Inside the office we were led to a room in the corner where would meet our baby. We had brought an outfit that Mariana would wear when we meet and we gave that over to someone on the staff. I was feeling numb at this point. They could have led me over a cliff I would probably have said, "duuuuh, ok". Of course we were sort of floating already at that point. There were windows on 2 sides and I remember looking out at the city and thinking about nothing. Hey look, guys working below on a drainage ditch. Hmmm, kind of smoggy today. I'm not sure what I was supposed to be thinking but here it was the big moment I was thinking about, well, nothing. I had been sort of expecting to feel a certain way, like being overcome by a rush of emotions. Really all it was just excitement and anticipation.

They had us sign a few papers and then they presented us her medical records with a photo of Mariana on the cover. In a crafty and well thought out maneuver they had taken a photo of her in the clothes we had just brought! There she was in that fuzzy little number Hilary had picked up in Brooklyn. The outfit had sat on the chair in her room for weeks limp and lifeless and now it was filled with her sweet chunkiness. The info they gave us over the next few minutes is a complete blur as all I wanted to do was turn back to the cover. We met with the Foster Mother who was very sweet and gave us the book with her pictures and care schedule. I wish we could have met her again a few days later because all that info went in one ear and dripped out the other. Hilary was rifling through the book. I wondered why. I wanted to see all the pictures and read everything. She was thinking, the sooner we get through this the sooner we meet her. Oh yeah, right!

We went back to the corner room and waited. Helena asked us for our camera and waited too. There was a rise in the chatter and ambient noise as Mariana was brought to us. She was calm when they handed her to Hilary living up to her description as tranquilo in Spanish. I couldn't believe The Moment was finally at hand. She looked us right in the eyes as if to say "Y'all ready for this?" Honestly she looked a little scared understandably but she played it off well and charmed me utterly. She was even more beautiful than that picture we had taped to the wall in the bedroom and the fridge and the nightstand and the computer. They left us alone for a few minutes. Hilary and I just sat there passing her back and forth in hushed amazement. I think we laughed and said something like "What are they nuts?! They're giving this little baby to us?!"

We said our goodbyes and thanked everyone and went back to the car with our daughter in our arms. She quickly fell asleep on Hilary's chest on the ride back to the hotel. There's no fussy stuff like car seat laws for babies in Colombia. We got back to our room and closed the door and there we were, a family. Now we have to walk the walk. She needs to be changed. She needs a bottle, NOW. She needs more things than I can even imagine right now and hey, welcome to it. I finally got to sit with her alone and hold her and wrap my arms around her whole fat little body and that's when I finally began to feel the gravity of the situation. Some people have said that it could take a while to fall in love with your adopted child. I felt so lucky and can honestly say it was love at first sight.

*note: you can click on any of the photos on this site for a full size view